reality hits me in the face, harder than i had expected.

knowing that i had not put in much efforts to study, i did nothing much about it. and so, today i got back 2 papers. history, math. thinking that i might have scored well for history, but i did not. having just 1.5marks more than the passing mark isnt good enough for me. math, was definately worst. once again, i had this image in my mind that i'd at least get a pass, ofcourse i did not. ashamed and utter disappointment. i used lots of effort to force back the tears, caused by shock and disgrace. i was too proud.

perhaps i really did not put in much efforts to study, or maybe its just a simple reason. im just too dumb to understand. math, the one subject that i thought i would do well. but ofcourse i did not. i tried i tried, i tried my best to understand the chapter. but i still couldnt understand it, even when friends,teachers helped, i just couldnt get it into my head. idk whats wrong, i used to score As even for math, the one subject i was proud to have accomplished such results just because i sucked at it during primary school. i guess im back to square one. on the verge of giving up, but i know i cant.

Geography, is shit. what a nice teacher to relief mrs yip. what a nice teacher. i cant understand a single shit, now receiving the other two results, i couldnt pin on high hopes anymore. least i fall back and feel more disappointment. all i can do now is pray for the best and have that little self-discipline to f*ing study. i realised i have been wasting my time all these while, doing nothing but shit.

i deserve no one's help, because i caused all these myself. just say byebye to top 3.
reality,indeed, smacked hard on my face. more than i would have expected.
fuck.