peace, tranquility....







well, it doesnt look that peaceful in the foto.(and i posted this at 27/09!cos alr 12)
wel went to cousin's bbq, and like,super bored. -.- jus like i imagined.
i knew none of them cos, my uncle was having an annual function wif his subordinates, den jus invite us lo.den was forced to go...dots.and i'd rather stay at hme cos i knew it was so boring...
okay, it was a rooftop bbq, and its like 36 storeys high.den open air.den i all the time i was jus looking at the scenery.and i wish my house was there, den i can go there everyday.cos i realised, looking at the scenery jus makes me relax, no stress no nth,no wierd feeling.lol jus stood dere enjoying the breeze and clearing my mind, and thinking of stuff and such.but for a moment i wish i could jus walk ahead frm where i was standing and everything will stop stressing me.but ppl who get wad i meant, dun be alarmed, im jus kidding :P i wont be so stupid okay!
well, the scenery was much nicer den in the foto.cos it was dark so cant really see though.and, well, for the whole session, i was feeling or rather,being emo.cos was thinking of ALOT of things.tot about death,den jus suddenly rmb wad gareth told me.abt death and life and such.den jus felt like sleeping and nvr wake up until the "storm" is over.but i guess its impossible.cos it will remain there till i solve it.hais...why does reality have to be like dat? lol...i wish i could jus throw every single thing away..like having a dream...and suddenly wake up knowing it was all jus a bad dream...but well, it isnt(ehhhhhh, wait uh! im not thinking of commiting suicide! relax.lol).i dun noe how the hell to face it..nobody is there wif me to face it.i know God is..but he's there in my mind, although ppl say he's beside us everytime.but i nid flesh to be beside me,a human which i can feel.uh! might not understand but well, that was wad i meant.lol..
and its jus that,some people told me i could tok to them if i needed hlp, not dat i dun trust them or anything.its jus dat....i dno how to explain...
GOD, send someone to hlp me, anyone...